Doc Shenkman has a saying that he… well, he says it often— It’s not my jacket that makes me look fat. The implication of course is that it’s your fat that makes you look fat.

Well, it’s hard to believe that in 2000 I was much thinner and had a full head of hair. I can’t control the receding hairline, I can’t control that my facial hair is going grey. But I can control the fact that I’m more Fat Bastard than Dr. Evil.


It wasn’t joining the 48 ounce club at Shula’s on Sunday… It wasn’t pizza and ice cream last night… It took an actual dream that’s made me make my need for weight loss more of a priority. When you dream that you’re too fat, you know you’re too fat.

So, the next time you hear me yelling that it’s cannoli time or see me devouring more food than what a man should eat, kindly remind me that it’s not my jacket making me look fat.