Fred Posner dot com

The WB network is relaunching online. While many people may not care, knowing that Buffy the Vampire Slayer can be viewed online is quite exciting for me. In fact, I’m just sitting here saying Woo Hoo.

We all know that I’m quite a fan of the Buffy show and this is good news for people looking to not work on their computers. The WB apparently is relaunching as an online-only network. Neat idea.

Anyway, I signed up for the beta program… so who knows? Maybe Anya will be coming to my desktop in the near future.

If you know me at all, you know I love movies. I mean, I REALLY love movies. But that aside, I no longer enjoy going to the movies. Maybe it’s me getting older… maybe it’s because I love my big-mama tv… or maybe it’s because I’m just a grumpy stubborn man, but it’s rare for me to want to go to the movies rather than see it at the house.

To get me out of the house and paying 11 bucks for a movie… it has to be a movie that excites me (like Iron Man, but let’s talk about that later). I mean after-all, for just 3 bucks more than a ticket price, I can sit in the comfort of my own home, have the ability to pause (rewind, etc), and more importantly - not deal with people.

I truly cannot remember the last time I was at a movie when someone didn’t use their cellphone. Ugh. But at least I know it’s a common problem, because now after some of the movie commercials, you get those director PSAs reminding you to shut off your cellphone. Normally, I always see Sydney Pollack… but today I saw Martin Scorsese’s version (I truly love Scorsese).

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So, Patrick and I have been making these chats on voip, called (or as Patrick would say Interestingly enough called) VoipTechChat. We’ve even made a website for it called… wait for it… VoipTechChat.com.

We enjoy it. We talk on regular voip “lines” and record the chat on a regular off the shelf PC I picked up at Wal-mart.

Anyway, we post the chats on the site in mp3 format, or you can even pick it up on iTunes.

Wanna hear the latest chat? Check it out here. This week is mostly movie talk, very little voip.

It’s that time of year in Gainesville… the time where the gators play the gators in the ultimate fight over alumni donations.

But, the great thing about Orange and Blue weekend, is that usually a good ol’ friendly alumni comes to town. This year, it was The Egan’s who graced our lovely town with their beautiful baby Grace.

Had a great time smelling the flowers, eating a burger at Cafe Gardens, and hanging out with great friends.

The rest of the weekend I spent catching up on films I never saw in the theater; which means I can scratch Dan in Real Life, The Dewey Cox Story, and No Reservations off my list.

My favorite of them? Clearly the chick flick was going to win.

For more pictures of the weekend, check out my photos at Picasa:

Fred’s Picasaweb Gallery

If I’m curt with you it’s because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you to guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So pretty please, with sugar on top, clean the fuckin’ car.

You gotta love Mr. Tarantino. (sp?)

In an homage to My Cousin Vinny, please allow me to reflect on some of the more asinine and actual exchanges from the courtroom (all props to “Disorder in the Court”):

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: OK. Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Selected quotes… for no apparent reason:

In certain extreme situations, the law is inadequate. In order to shame its inadequacy it is necessary to act outside the law - to pursue natural justice. This is not vengeance. Revenge is not a valid motive, it’s an emotional response. No, not vengeance. Punishment. -The Punisher

Yes. Well, I-I don’t know. Sometimes it would stop raining long enough for the stars to come out… and then it was nice. It was like just before the sun goes to bed down on the bayou. There was always a million sparkles on the water… like that mountain lake. It was so clear, Jenny, it looked like there were two skies one on top of the other. And then in the desert, when the sun comes up, I couldn’t tell where heaven stopped and the earth began. It’s so beautiful. -Forrest Gump

I had power over *nothing*. And that’s when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that’s what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I’m back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass… And I’ve lost her all over again. I’m so sad that I don’t have Kelly. But I’m so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring? -Castaway

I admit it — I love movies. Whether it’s quoting dialogue, mentioning an obscure reference, or just general film trivia, I love talking about movies. To make things worse, the only thing I tend to talk about more than movies is my dog.

So where am I going with this?

Lately, there’s something about going to the movies that just irks me… it’s not the main gripes that most people have, such as ticket prices, audience behavior, or theatre quality. Actually, I think those issues are fine — ticket prices match inflation, I can’t remember the last time I heard a cell phone in the theatre, and with stadium seating who can complain?

What lights a fire for me are the commercials shown before a movie. Not the previews… everyone knows I love the previews… I’m talking about the product commercials that we are forced to sit through before getting to view the featured presentation.

Even though I’m not angry about the price of a movie ticket, I am bothered at the thought of paying to see a commercial - or in most cases, several commercials. Whether its Tiger Woods pushing the newest SUV or images of those M&M candies, there is no reason for me to watch advertisements in a movie theatre.

If I were King, I would make it simple… for each commercial shown before the movie, your ticket price is reduced by a buck fifty. At this rate, I would have been paid almost 2 dollars to see Harry Potter (which, by the way, is a great movie).

As a Spider-fan, there was only requirement of me this weekend… See Spider-man 3.

There’s going to be a lot of people who won’t love this movie– but I won’t be one of them. Was it my favorite of the three? No, not at all… but it was better than 95% of the movies I’ve seen and if they make a forth, I’ll see that opening weekend as well.

I’m a huge Gwen Stacy fan… always have been. And to have her and the Captain on the screen was great… just great. The movie had the humor of a Spider-man comic and even though it wasn’t my favorite… was still money well spent.

Well, I missed the midnight showing… but with fucking Gwen Stacy listed as a character there’s no way in hell I’m missing this movie’s opening weekend.

So in a comic book moment, here’s my favorite line from Kill Bill:

An essential characteristic of the superhero mythology is, there’s the superhero, and there’s the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When he wakes up in the morning, he’s Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic that Superman stands alone. Superman did not become Superman, Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he’s Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red S, that’s the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears, the glasses, the business suit, that’s the costume. That’s the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent? He’s weak, he’s unsure of himself… he’s a coward. Clark Kent is Superman’s critique on the whole human race. Sort of like Beatrix Kiddo and Mrs. Tommy Plympton.

Oh, and when it says that Spider-man fans disagree on who Peter’s true love is? I’m one that votes Gwen.

Funny how time “flies” when you’re working all the time. I was doing so well with updaing these, too.

Let’s see… what’s happened in the last 30 days? Not much… A LOT of work… New highway bars on the bike… and that’s pretty much it.

I installed the Highway Bars on the bike for my upcoming Fort Lauderdale run… and they’re fantastic. I rode down to Ocala and back taking a detour at the Lake to say hello to the Criminology crew. They were doing the “ropes course” and I took some pics for them (see attached).

Other than thanking Florida for helping me out in the NCAA pool, not much has been going on.

Oh wait… I know….

I finally got one of my favorite films on DVD… one not many people know of, but one that I love… Harley Davidson and The Marlboro Man. Why is this movie so great? WHY NOT?

First, it’s got Don Johnson in his prime… pop culture references left and right, Mickey Rourke, and good one-liners. Sure, most people don’t like this movie… but I’m not most people. And, my brother David Kronen LOVES the movie just as much as me… so how can two nice Jewish boys be wrong?

Several months ago, my beautiful, tooth-pick of a goddaughter told me her class was reading Bridge to Terabithia. Instantly, I flashbacked to Mrs. Krueger’s 4^th grade class and what great books we read that year. Without a doubt, Mrs. Krueger is/was my favorite Elementary School teacher. She really inspired us to read, which unfortunately is something I lost interest in years later. That being said, she also had us read Bridge to Terabithia— which is still, to this day, one of my favorite books.

I’ve always been able to have a feeling of where a story was headed. Not that I’m skilled here or anything… I think that most writers are just predictable. So I think besides Bridge being a great story, my having been completely blindsided by the plot keeps the book fresh on my mind… even 25 years later. (ouch)

So when Emmy told me that they were making a new movie of the book, we promised to go together… just the two of us. This morning, I picked her up (bright an early), sat in the WAYYYY back, watched a lot of previews, and then sat back to enjoy the show.

I loved it. It’s not going to win any awards… not by a long shot. But I really liked the book and thought the movie kept true to it’s spirit and story. Sure, it was updated a little bit for time/date, but it was a good, enjoyable movie. Looked great and was an enjoyable movie to watch.

So it’s only February and I’ve already seen a movie in the theater… go know

Out of all the movies that came out in 2006, I can’t believe I saw only the following:

1. ANNAPOLIS
2. CLERKS II
3. CLICK
4. EIGHT BELOW
5. MIAMI VICE
6. MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3
7. SUPERMAN RETURNS
8. TALLADEGA NIGHTS
9. THANK YOU FOR SMOKING
10. THE DA VINCI CODE
11. X-MEN: THE LAST STAND

And even sadder— I only saw 3 of these in the theater.

So, here’s my take in 10 words or (much) less:

ANNAPOLIS
Cheesy, but liked it.

CLERKS II
Loved It! One of my favorite Kevin Smith films.

CLICK
Ok.

EIGHT BELOW
Sad. Disney, so nice… but sad.

MIAMI VICE
Enjoyed it. Tubbs lives.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 3
Very good. You forget Tom jumping on a couch.

SUPERMAN RETURNS
Most disappointing movie I’ve seen. It sucked.

TALLADEGA NIGHTS
Funniest movie I’ve seen in years.

THANK YOU FOR SMOKING
A good movie.

THE DA VINCI CODE
I liked it. I don’t understand the negative reviews.

X-MEN: THE LAST STAND
Not impressed.

I even bought the DVD of SUPERMAN RETURNS— just to see if I was too harsh in my previous post… and no, if anything I was too easy. This movie sucked. I loved the first Superman and this movie just killed it for me.

Well, after seeing Superman Returns the other week, I wasn’t all too excited to see Miami Vice. I mean, how many tv shows can we turn into movies? Between Charlies Angels, Dukes of Hazzard, Mission Impossible, Starsky & Hutch… I mean the list just never ends.

Miami Vice wasn’t just a television show– it was a cultural icon. Going to High School in South Florida in the late 80’s, you could easily tell the influence it had on all of us kids growing up. From everyone wearing boat shoes (something I still love) to losing socks, adding pastels to your shirt collection to using a “Miami” roll on your sleeves, we dressed the part. The 80’s wasn’t the high point of American fashion, but dammit, we thought we looked goooooood.

So my buddy calls me today and says we’re seeing Crockett and Tubbs in an hour and a half. I knew I had to go… it must be done. The whole time I’m on my way to the theater I’m remembering all of my favorite Vice moments… Bruce Willis and domestic violence watched from the hull of a sailboat… Ted Nugent destroying beautiful cars… Castillo going commando… Zito’s body being held by Switek… the Spyder… the Testarosa… Phil Collins… Shelia Easton… Glenn Frey… Stiltsville… and then I start smiling… and then I get excited… and now I’m driving to the theater singing In the Air Tonight and I’m ready for some Miami Vice.

Well, I wasn’t let down. At first, I didn’t think that I would love the new, updated Sonny… after all, Don Johnson is a freaking legend. That’s right I said it. Don Johnson made Miami Vice. Tubbs? Fuck Tubbs. Tubbs in my mind was always a supporting player. And there were times where if I heard Pillip Michael Thomas do one more Jamaican accent I would have just had a siezure. So my expectations for Jamie Foxx were low… not because of Jamie Foxx, but mostly because of Tubbs.

Well within 10 minutes, Sonny was Sonny and Tubbs now rocked. This is the new Tubbs… the Tubbs that you knew Tubbs could be.

I loved this movie. Kicked Superman’s ass. Kicked Superman’s ass so hard that– insert some phrase here. Granted, I don’t think this is a movie you can see over and over and over… but it was a great movie and I’m ready for the sequel.

Not since the final Star Wars film or perhaps even Spider-man had I been this excited to see a film. For the entire day, the thought of seeing Superman Returns has kept me in a great mood. Maybe it was too great of expectations, or perhaps it was an amazingly high pedestal that I could never allow a movie to reach; but in the end it comes down to one thing. I didn’t love Superman Returns.

Don’t get me wrong, here. I liked it. And when I break it down, I have to wonder why I didn’t love the movie. I thought Kevin Spacey was awesome-simply awesome. I thought that this movie had the best Lois Lane ever. Superman himself looked and felt like what Superman should be. The acting was great; the humor was there, but in the end… I just didn’t love this movie.

The first time I saw Superman on the big screen was with my mom in 1978. Even though I was a young boy, the movie so amazed me that I still vividly remember watching the film in the theater. I can recall the feeling I had when the toddler Clark lifted the Kent’s truck and smiled… or when Clark caught the bullet from the mugging… or even watching Superman return the little girl’s cat from the tree (and the smack afterwards). To me, Superman was real. This wasn’t special effects; this was the real adventures of a Superhero caught on film.

In almost 20 years of time, we’ve seen an amazing amount of movie magic. Thin about it… when they made Superman in ‘78, there were no blue screens to help Superman fly. So, when Superman Returns debuted tonight I expected magic. I expected to feel the same way I had all those years ago in a small New York movie theater. And even with the great performances, I came away with the feeling that I just didn’t love this movie.

Am I being too hard? I don’t know. Spider-man is my favorite super-hero of all time. And when Tobey Maguire put on the Spidey suit I had enormous expectations– Huge, Colossal, Gigantic expectations. Even knowing that one of my favorite aspects of the hero had been changed (his web shooting), I still had almost entered the movie theater as if with a dare… in a way daring this new Spider-man to impress me. I walked out of the theater with the biggest smile on my face and saw the movie two more times that same weekend. This film took my dare and shoved it in my face. The movie not only lived up to my expectations; it surpassed them.

I expected nothing less from Superman. Was it a good film? Sure. But, I thought some of the coolest new effects of the movie I had already seen in the trailer (Superman being shot, etc.). And even though the performances were great, my favorite part of the movie was a trailer… and that trailer is for Spider-man 3.