Facebook: I'm Breaking Up with You
Listen… I’m grateful for our relationship. I do not regret these past 7+ years. After all, you and I have shared some significant events.
When we first got together I was single, had an amazing dog, and was finishing up my degree. You were great in helping me connect with other students in my classes and even helped me keep track of assignments, projects, and more.
You helped me through some rough times.
When Forrest passed away, you made it easy to tell friends of my loss. You helped me deal with Ricardo’s murder. You’ve seen so many divorces… and we’ve witnessed too many people unable to hide their crazy.
We’ve shared great times.
My engagement. My wedding (both of them). The start of a business. Awards. Press. When there’s been good news, you’ve been one of the first to know. I’ve shared almost everything with you.
But… we’ve seem to have grown apart.
We’ve both changed. Hell, when we first got together, I almost had to beg people to visit you. Now, I need to beg people to put you down.
You’re very popular. You’ve grown. Some of what you’ve done, especially with how quickly you’ve done it, is amazingly impressive.
Sometimes bigger isn’t better.
Sometimes popularity makes you change in ways that make you unpopular with those that have loved you the longest.
It’s okay. It’s life.
I’m telling you this, because I’m just not that into you.
I know this is harsh. You deserve to know how I truly feel. Right now, I feel you are an incredible waste of time and have become a distraction from life.
I’m sick of seeing people interact with you at dinner. I get irritated when I see you out in public. The other week, I saw someone with you at Disney World.
Really. Instead of actually doing Disney stuff, someone felt that they could best enjoy Disney World by spending time on Facebook.
I’m just not into you.
It happens. There’s nothing you can do. If you change, it won’t change how I feel.
Look, I’m am incredibly lucky guy. I’ve got a smoking hot wife, who for some reason, loves spending time with me.
I’ve got a business that needs my time. I’ve got another one that still needs me, too.
I’ve got great friends and family. I want to hug them. I want to hear their laughter.
I want to eat food.
I want to smell food.
I do not want to see pictures of food.
Again, I’m thankful for the time we’ve shared. I have no regrets.
I’m just not that into you.