Facebook: I'm Breaking Up with You

disney castle fireworks
Missed it. Was on Facebook.

Listen… I’m grateful for our relationship. I do not regret these past 7+ years. After all, you and I have shared some significant events.

When we first got together I was single, had an amazing dog, and was finishing up my degree. You were great in helping me connect with other students in my classes and even helped me keep track of assignments, projects, and more.

You helped me through some rough times. 

When Forrest passed away, you made it easy to tell friends of my loss. You helped me deal with Ricardo’s murder. You’ve seen so many divorces… and we’ve witnessed too many people unable to hide their crazy.

We’ve shared great times.

My engagement. My wedding (both of them). The start of a business. Awards. Press. When there’s been good news, you’ve been one of the first to know. I’ve shared almost everything with you.

But… we’ve seem to have grown apart.

We’ve both changed. Hell, when we first got together, I almost had to beg people to visit you. Now, I need to beg people to put you down.

You’re very popular. You’ve grown. Some of what you’ve done, especially with how quickly you’ve done it, is amazingly impressive.


Sometimes bigger isn’t better.

Sometimes popularity makes you change in ways that make you unpopular with those that have loved you the longest.

It’s okay. It’s life.

I’m telling you this, because I’m just not that into you.

I know this is harsh. You deserve to know how I truly feel. Right now, I feel you are an incredible waste of time and have become a distraction from life.

I’m sick of seeing people interact with you at dinner. I get irritated when I see you out in public. The other week, I saw someone with you at Disney World.

Really. Instead of actually doing Disney stuff, someone felt that they could best enjoy Disney World by spending time on Facebook.

I’m just not into you.

It happens. There’s nothing you can do. If you change, it won’t change how I feel.

Look, I’m am incredibly lucky guy. I’ve got a smoking hot wife, who for some reason, loves spending time with me.

I’ve got a business that needs my time. I’ve got another one that still needs me, too.

I’ve got great friends and family. I want to hug them. I want to hear their laughter.

I want to eat food.

I want to smell food.

I do not want to see pictures of food.

Again, I’m thankful for the time we’ve shared. I have no regrets.

I’m just not that into you.


TeacherPatti 2013-08-22 Reply

I completely understand. The food pictures are annoying as is the constant bragging by some people (I’ve x’d them out of my feed but sometimes they still show up). Likewise, some of the kid pictures generally creep me out. I would not put my kids’ pictures (if I had kids, which I don’t) in some of the poses and outfits that others do.

I will still see you on Twitter, buddy!

F. Andy Seidl 2013-08-23 Reply

Oh man, sorry if I in any way contributed to your exodus. I understand what you’re saying, though–I was at the edge of doing the same about a year ago. Instead of bailing, I tuned down the volume of my FB news feed using various FB settings. Now my feed is mostly pretty interesting and I can still peek in on the “all” feed or glance at the real-time firehose at the right when I’m feeling bored. Just a thought.

Mike 2013-08-23 Reply

Lets communicate like it’s 1999 — Call me… Hell, stop by for a cup of coffee. Social media is ruining the American mind —– Glad to see you fired FB.

Edward Vielmetti 2013-08-23 Reply

I took Facebook off my phone and stopped posting there; I’ll still read it (for the comments) like I read the local newspaper (for the comments) but don’t contribute.

Hey I have a blog of my own and it’s just as good if not better to use that; and I can still tolerate Twitter for those times when you are looking for real time chit-chat.

Edward Vielmetti 2015-06-27 Reply

I got a new phone, and put Facebook on it. Now I took Facebook off the phone again.

I guess I prefer Twitter for short form stuff, and blogs for long form stuff, and really resent that Facebook has a never-ending firehose of stuff that you never, ever can catch up on.

Fred Posner 2015-07-04 Reply

For me, the only way was a permanent delete. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even click fb . me links.

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